Will someone please inform the board that the Rock&Roll Hall of Fame really means ROCK AND ROLL????? This means rappers, R&B, Pop music and the like ARE NOT ROCK&ROLL so take them off the goddamn ballot you fucking idiots!

THEY DON'T BELONG!!!! LET THEM GET THEIR OWN HALL OF FAME!

Two weeks ago this Thursday, for the first time in my life I tried to kill myself. Seems like I have been depressed since I squeezed my way out of the womb, I cannot remember a period of time in my life I have not felt the weight of the world upon me as if the axis of the universe would collapse with utter certainty at my next move.

In 1998 I was diagnosed as bi-polar and spent 2 weeks in the insane ward of a local hospital, with group meetings, one on one sessions, my own room with a telephone, like I was in a normal ward of the hospital. By the time I left, I was prescribed medication to deal with my bi-polar disorder, but it seemed to have little effect, though at the time I continued to smoke the sweet green lady. I suppose that could've had something to do with it. Anyhow, after about a year I stopped taking the meds vowing never to take anything ever again; I had a studio in my apartment at the time, writing and recording my own songs....I felt the meds hurt my creativity.

This time around, I swallowed about 30 kolonopines and chased them with a fifth of vodka, blacking out and awaking 13 hours later in a cold sweat. I stumbled into the living room and saw minor destruction, things out of place, a broken lamp among other items. I woke my wife, it was 2am, and she got up and we talked for about an hour. I asked her what happened and she spelled it out for me. The previous morning she was getting ready for work, my 13yr. old daughter was getting ready to go to her friends house, when I came flying out of my office where I passed out, yelling, stumbling and falling into things, my speech so slurred I could not be understood, and finally knocking things off the entertainment center before retreating to my office couch and crashing. She said she tried to calm me down but didn't know how, and my daughter....my dear daughter saw it all. I asked my wife......

"What do you want me to do?"

She says...."Get some inpatient help or get out."

My daughter spent the weekend with my sister-in-law, she did not want to come home with me there, and who could blame her? She had never seen me like that, and my god I was still in disbelief like most wasted people who awaken in a stupor, only to find out what damage was done or deeds carried out the night before. I felt ashamed, sad, and even more depressed.

Since my daughter was away until Monday evening, I begged my wife to let me wait until Monday to make some calls for inpatient help, she reluctantly agreed. After she left for work Monday morning I started making calls. Almost every call I made I was referred somewhere else and I was getting frustrated but decided to try one more number. I called Crisis Care and was on the phone with the woman rep for about a half hour. She took down my information and tried to answer my questions, but had no answers for me except in-patient treatment for drugs and alcohol. Not that drinking wasn't a problem, but I wanted help for my whole screwed up self. I hung up the phone feeling even more frustrated and disappointed.

An hour later there was a knock at my door.

The police.